Here – snort this stuff. It’ll help you sleep.

With a thin lipped smile, I accepted the lavender infused pillow my mother handed me.

“No, really,” she said. “Give it a try. It’ll help you sleep.”

At the time, I was a bit dismissive of the concept.

I’d been living in such a way that countered openness to aromatherapy as a cure. My mind demanded products from bottles sheathed in warning signs before it would shut down for the day. My anxious legs did invisible Tours de France nightly without the coveted toxins. Until – they started doing that even with them. (Tolerance is a bish.) So, I begrudgingly took my fluffy consolation prize and put it next to me on my bed where my lovers usually slept.


(My lovers. Fighting over me, as you can see. As usual.)

And, also as usual, mom was onto something.

‘cause while it took a while for me to come around, there’s a whole science to aromatherapy and its effect on our cranial supercomputer. There’s a reason why it works – beyond mere placebo effect. And what’s that, exactly? Well, it has to do with how a given scent can punch us right in the feels. Sometimes that’s a wakeful feel (like a fresh bar of Coast soap – for me). Sometimes that’s a sleepy feel (like lavender – and a buncha other ones I’ll imminently list). What happens, though, is this: the moment you inhale something aromatic like an essential oil, that scent gets whisked away to olfactory nerve cells (which live in your nose.) From there, the message travels to your sniff-ery (AKA your olfactory system). From there, things get interesting. Because the aroma-message gets emailed to your brain – but not just any old part. It goes straight to the emotion mill. (AKA the limbic system) If that doesn’t sound like a big deal, think’a it this way: the limbic system’s the place you can blame and thank for forking out all’a those emotions (and the subsequent emotional behavior) like intimacy, sexuality, and passion. While that may sound like a long and drawn out process, the effects are fairly immediate. As your emotions tweak (hopefully for the better, in the case of aromatherapy), you might notice stress dissolve… and your muscle tension doing the same along with it. That’s when your intrinsic pharmacy can kick in and deliver a script full’a serotonin and endorphins to your door.

Boom. Dreamtime. Boom. Science.

Or, as the pros more eloquently put it:

“Our sense of smell is 10,000 more powerful than any other sense and the recognition of smell is immediate. (Other senses like touch travel to the brain via the spinal cord.) Smell is also the strongest link to the subconscious mind and also to our collective unconscious mind where memories are stored.”

So, which scents (and mediums of delivering ‘em) are right for you?

Well, for me, the medium I’ve always loved has been candles. Yankee’s overpriced sage and citrus infused jars of wick and wax wake me up, while their patchouli puts me at peace. (Plus, I don’t own a fireplace, so there’s something kinda cozy about proximity to a single flame in the cold moths.) However, ever a fan of novelty (and ever desiring things I don’t have), I’ve been thinking of trying out essential oils for the first time. (Actually “first time” is a lie: I tried to make my own at a hippie shop downtown once, but it ended up smelling like something a cat voids into a pan of sand.) Plus, a small vial of oil will be a cheap way to test my preferences out – before buying the giant candle version of it. Thus, I summoned my Google gadget to snatch up a few flavors for my smellery to try this week.

Not surprisingly, Lavender is at the top:

1. Lavender
2. Vetiver
3. Roman Chamomile
4. Ylang ylang
5. Bergamot
6. Sandalwood
7. Marjoram
8. Cedarwood

It’ll take me a while to try all of them. (Gotta cleanse the proboscis palate of interfering variables between sleeps like a good scientist.) But, once I do, I should start to notice a litany of other issues improving. Because the claims from fans of the stuff are that it can elevate overall mood, aid in joint health, and even alleviate sore muscles. (If you’re incapable of not moving for more than fifteen minutes at a time and always feel like you’ve just run a marathon. Like me.)

And why is a former nonbeliever like me suddenly so open to seemingly fairy tale nonsense?

Well, firstly, ’cause Saint Science said it’s true.

And, aside from that, it works in application. And it has worked for me. I mean, I won’t pretend that the lavender scented headrest whisked me into reverie straight away the night I brought it home. I still had a lot of system purging to do. It took a little time cutting ties with my prescription relationship (and clearing my brain and sanguine freeways) before the au natch cures could work. But I will tell you this: within a short period (after the pain of detox ceased), this genre of things I’d previously eschewed gained new interest for me. Candles were my qualudes. Burning oils were my benzos. And as for that flowery pillow?

It’s lulled my olfactory bulb to sleep for many, many moons now. (Thanks mom.)

So many, in fact (come to think of it), I’m pretty sure it’s doing the same for a few million dust mites, too.

Might be time to put a rush order on those oils…

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