Ain’t no rest for the whiff-less. (So sport this scented mask to sleep.)

So… we’ve covered face covers that blind you at bedtime.

And we’ve covered aromatherapy that lulls your olfactory bulb to slumbertown.

But tonight, none’a those au naturale means of getting to sleep are working anymore.

So, why not wed the two?

Why reach for a pill to mask the symptoms when a mask that’s scented will do?

Somehow, despite my championing of both blinders and aromatherapy, it’s never occurred to me to try a hybrid of the two. I mean, the scented pillows and candles are great, but they just end up respectively falling off or lighting your house on fire. (Both of which will just wake you up. Hopefully.) With this fitted fragrant, veil, however – you can literally be rest assured zero of that’ll happen. On the contrary, you get the benefit of blocking out the light pollution leaking in through your blinds plus a constant aromatic stream cascading down from your shuttered vision organs and into your neighboring face holes. Plus the thing moves right along with you if you (like myself) whirl like a horizontal Sufi on your mattress all night. Plus no fires. (Which, as we’ve established, are also inconvenient when you’re trying to sleep.)

And why bother with this odored optical cover? Why not just buy regular blinders?

Isn’t this smelly stuff just a bunch’a hippie nonscents?

According to the dudes who do science, not so.

Aromas (particularly those like lavender) can have a powerful effect on our nervous system, relieving those nagging anxieties and even the physical pain that’s often the insomnia instigator. In fact, they even did this one study pairing the perfumed oil with an actual mask. The results? In cases of chronic pain patients (suffering everything ranging from slipped discs to C sections to period cramps), the therapy had a significant impact on their ouch levels. Or at least the pain in these peeps happened to be greatly reduced in those who happened to be subjected to the stuff (I have to add that bit in ’cause technically correlation doesn’t equal causation).

Per NCBI:

It has been shown that lavender aromatherapy through an oxygen face mask with two drops of 2% lavender oil can be used to reduce the demand for opioids in twenty-five patients after immediate postoperative period of breast biopsy surgery.

As for testing the stuff on actual insomniacs? The lavender did not disappoint there, either.

In fact, they even tried replacing tranqu’d out subjects’ scripts with whiffs of this deliciousness. And, initially, of course things were worse (because: withdrawal). But, once they’d quit and their bodies stopped being dependent on the chemicals, everything alleviated. And, suddenly, sleep was no longer some elusive, un-catchable white rabbit. (Which was probably what they really saw when they were on all those slumber drugs.)

All thanks to some “airy fairy” aromatherapy. (#hatersgonnahatewakersgonnawake)

So before you hit up the pill mill? Or granny’s cabinet?

Mayhaps try a dose o’ nose glee via your sight concealer instead.

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