Remember when you were a kid and mom would do the ol’ “warm milk” thing to get you to sleep?
“Um… where’s the spiced tea part? Why is this not topped with overpriced emerald foam? I SAID SOY!!!!1”
Really, it did seem magical. At the time.
Naturally, though, as I got a little bit older and discovered a few shortcuts to dreamland (see: wine, valium, and wine chased valium), my intrigue in the genre of tranquilizing chow diminished. However, since those days have ended, my interest has resurfaced significantly. I mean, sure, the Valerian teas and melatonin tablets are great. But much like when the body gains a tolerance to pain medication, I’ve personally noticed that I either start requiring more of the stuff – or have to rotate to something new. So, recently, I thought… why not try making my next shoe in something delicious? After scouring the interwebs (and by “scour”, I mean two and a half keystrokes on my search engine before Google guessed what I wanted), I came across some interesting solutions surrounding snooze inducing foods. And interesting reasons for why these palatable palliatives work.
For example, did you know that walnuts make the top of many lists?
1.) Walnuts
Okay, smart-arse, you knew that. But did you know why? Because once they’re in you, they hack your body clock. And that’s because they’ve got tryptophan in them (which is an amino acid). And that tryptophan helps you make both sertotonin (a feel good hormone) and melatonin (the hormone that lets you sleep and wake normally – unless you hang around blue light electronics a lot at night, you tech junkie, you). But wait, there’s more! Not only does the tryptophan in the walnuts make your body make melatonin, but they’ve also got their own store of it, too. Not a bad deal. (Next experiment: see if nocturnal walnut nomming can compensate for late night iphone seshes that interfere with my melatonin secretion.)
2.) Lettuce
Make fun of us veggie folk stealing Thumper’s dinner all you want.
But you might just join us when you learn that an evening lettuce snack is tantamount to natural smack. Well, kinda. What the green stuff has in it is lactucarium – which imparts a sedative sensation by impacting the brain in a way not terribly unlike a dose of good old fashioned China White. Talk about putting the “den” in “garden”. Opium den, that is.
3.) Cherry juice and tart cherries
Like many on most lists you’ll see, this one’s another melatonin inducer. And, actually, I’ve tried it before at bed – enough times that I can confirm it works. I can also confirm that once you realize what a dent the dried tart cherries put on your Wegman’s budget, you’ll want to fall asleep. Permanently. I save this one for spesh occasions. (Like, when no one’s around to see me switch the printout labels in the bulk section to cheap raisins before getting into line with the most easily distracted cashier.)
4.) Honey
This golden sticky bee sputum (that’s the way we vegans try to gross you out – by saying it’s “bee vomit” – but each to his own) isn’t to be Pooh Pooh’d from the list. (Worst pun ever; my condolences to Christopher Robbin & Co.) Because it’s fully capable of knocking you TFO – especially when paired with bed o’ clock teas like chamomile. Why? ‘cause its high sugar spikes your insulin (which then offers tryptophan a VIP keycard to your brain organ).
5.) Passionfruit tea
While this one technically should go in another article listed “Drug-like teas: Part 2”, I couldn’t help but list it here because of its unique properties (plus you could prolly take what you learned from #4 and get the Cheerios mascot to do a tryptophan spit in there for an extra kick – which would make it then include “food”, technically). The cool thing about passionfruit tea specifically, though, is that – while it seems to work (and while researchers have a good “idea” about what might make it be so effective) it looks like there’s mostly only speculation thus far on why it works. The going idea is that its Harman alkaloids pull a swinging pocketwatch act on your nervous system until you drift into your own subconscious abyss.
But, for me personally? I’m going with the same answer I always do for anything I don’t understand – just like I used to with mom’s heated cow secretions (and still do, actually – considering the fact they’re still debating whether milk even has a scientific explanache for acting like a sedative.) It’s magic. All of it. Obviously. And, while I’m half joking, there’s actually some logic to my childish mysticism. ‘cause whether these delicious sedatives work by power of suggestion or amino acids acting like a boot kicking your body’s domino blocks, does it really matter? It’s like the saying goes: If the thing ain’t broke, don’t torture yourself by prying it open only to learn it’s running perfectly on nada but dust and cobwebs. Wait… that is a saying, right?
Anyway, friends, dream sweetly.
(Or tartly… or nuttily…)