Hello, I’m Ashley… and I’m a recovering snooze button addict.
Indeed, there was a time in my life when I was so in love with the idea of being gifted not only extra time – but extra time spent subconscious – that I’d set my preliminary alarm ridiculously early. And then I’d hit it about two to twelve times before I finally acquiesced to bidding bed adieu for the day. These mornings, I only hit it once – and not to return to sleep, but so that I’ll have a nice horrifying clamor to signify the cessation of morning meditation time that follows waking up. While I can’t speak for everyone, this is far better for me than the former practice. Thus, it’s one option I highly recommend as a substitute if you’re finding that your ephemeral snooze button A.M. escapes happen to correlate with crappy P.M.’s you can’t wait to escape. That, or you could just get to sleep earlier. Either way, slapping the time-buying button has been voted a bad habit it’d be good to break ASAP (more like “As soon as it applies” – which’d be tomorrow morning.) And why?
Well, science’s claim is that if you snooze… you lose.
And what you lose, ultimately, is your level of productivity once you finally dismount the mattress.
“When you hit the snooze button repeatedly, you’re doing two negative things to yourself,” warns Robert S. Rosenberg, the medical director of the Sleep Disorders Centers of Prescott Valley and Flagstaff, Arizona. He goes on to add:
“First, you’re fragmenting what little extra sleep you’re getting so it is of poor quality. Second, you’re starting to put yourself through a new sleep cycle that you aren’t giving yourself enough time to finish. This can result in persistent grogginess throughout the day.”
Ah, yes. I thought I remembered hearing about those sliced up sleep cycle issues before. What they call it is “sleep inertia”. You see, normally, a nighttime sleep cycle goes through these different waves chronologically. You’re not meant to wake up until the one that happens last has finished. The reason reaching tapping snooze on your Apple is so bad? Because you’ve begun a whole new one of those cycles now. And once your next alarm goes off, you’ll have to cut it off at its gooey center, making your body think you haven’t gotten a full rest…and scream at you to hit Starbucks, come hell, high water, or late arrival to work.
Unfortunately, all the iced lattes and icy showers in the world can’t change the facts:
It’ll take up to an hour to rid the peppiest snoozer of that head-fog, says the National Sleep Foundation.
(I can tell. That’s not how you drive a car at all.)
So, what do fellow recovering snooze button addicts do? Just quit cold turkey? Pretend like their early morning phone tapping days were just a bad dream? Nay, says Rosenbeg. (Not literally – though it’d’ve been cooler if he did.) Rather, as with any genuine addiction, a chronic “five more minutes” habit is an indication of something larger gone wrong. It’s a symptom. And Rosenberg says that more often than not, that problem is (… puts on Captain Obvious hat…) that you’re not getting enough sleep. What’s obviously less obvious to snooze addicts still in denial about the fact that they may have to change the rest of their lifestyle to manage A.M. exhaustion? That you need to make up for it at the other end. So, as with any obstinate addict, you must give good and clear directions toward a solution. Lucky for you groggy zombies, you’ve got me. And here it is:
1.) Get seven hours of sleep at night.
2.) Go to sleep early to get that seven hours.
3.) Only hit snooze if it’s ’cause you got up for some “Om” time.
4.) Share this article on all of your social media accounts.
4a.) Just seeing if you were awake.