Thrashing. Exasperated. Exhausted.
This wasn’t how you envisioned it. The magnificent mattress you spend the last since-you-left-it number of hours missing all Monday has spontaneously lost its allure now that you’re on it. Since this morning, it’s morphed from a cradle of comfort to an open casket at the funeral for your rest’s death. What’s going on here? You conquered the day, came home, and collapsed into the arms of your spring loaded rectangle cushion. Just as planned.
(Wired and tired simultaneously = the ultimate nocturnal inferno.)
So, why the tension and tiredness? What gives?
Well, science says… it might be ’cause you a dirty azz bish.
One who doesn’t shower.
Well, one who doesn’t shower at the right time – at least. And it’s actually less to do with cleanliness than body temp. Because, according to studies done on body heat regulation and rest, late hour showering can make all the difference in the world. Why? Because of what happens after the fact. See, when you amble from your balmy waterfall into a comparatively chilly bedchamber, the overall temp in your body drops. And why’s that matter? Because a temp descent indicates it’s rest o’ clock to the rest of you. Once your systems get that message, they start setting metabolic ongoings into superslow cruise control. That includes stuff like your blood pumper’s pace, how fast you suck and chuck air, and even your tummy’s job processing the tacos you deposited in it earlier. (Which is why they say to wait longer between grubbing and slumbering than you do to swim.) And that’s why a full body topical dose o’ tropical temp’d agua before bedtime might be just what the insomnia doc ordered. TBH, it makes me feel kinda dumb that I didn’t know this all along. Especially since it’s not news. Here’s an abstract from some study about as old as I am, supporting the warm ‘n soporific shower (or bath) theory:
“Six healthy female volunteers (22-24 years), physically untrained (unfit), sat in baths of warm or cool water for 90 min, between 14.30 h and 17.30 h, on separate occasions. In the former condition (HOT), rectal temperature (Tr) rose by an average of 1.8 degrees C, and in the latter (COOL), a thermoneutral condition, there was a nil Tr change. All-night sleep EEGs were monitored after both occasions and on baseline nights. Following COOL, there was no significant change in any sleep parameter. After HOT there were significant increases in: sleepiness at bed-time, slow wave sleep, and stage 4 sleep. REM sleep was reduced, particularly in the first REM sleep period.”
Now, right around here’s where confused-you might be saying exactly what I did when I read this:
“But hot showers wake me up…”
Indeed. A nice hot shower in the morning energizes me, too. Which is why, at first, I thought mayhaps it was one of those things like taking your B12 – where the time of day you do it matters. And while that’s not correct, it’s not far off. Because while the time of day is helpful (right before bed), the timing of the shower’s length itself, is super crucial. And in this particular case, time is of the rest essence. Dawdling under a hot water drizzle may feel therapeutic, but it may also end up cheating you outta sleep. That’s why the siesta experts have estimated the goldilocks combo for coma inducing snoozery to be 5 to 15 minutes spent marinating in 104°F water. That way your body’s temp won’t rise excessively and energize you. That’s probably also why I wouldn’t suggest a bath over a shower. It takes longer to draw than you’d get to enjoy sitting in. And, ultimately, willpower (or lack thereof) comes into play. For, it’s far easier to toggle a knob of feel-goodery off that’s raining onto you from above, than to force yourself to sit up and willfully emerge from an aqueous blanket of warm comfort.
(Plus, the indigenous peoples of cartoon-ville might come make human stew out of you, Bugs Bunny style.)
So, there, you go. Do a brief bodily steam-cleaning in the evening, and sweet dreams’ll come.
But, honestly…
Did I really need to tell anyone here to de-grime after a day of grinding?