Love your weighted blanket but hate the weight of money in your account?
Looking to waste said money on something new you don’t need?
Then, perhaps try this new human sized sock someone’s invented!
Yes, this crazy creation’s meant to help you sleep.
And the only thing weirder about this (than voluntarily putting yourself in a giant jersey knit condom) is the name: The Hug Sleep Pod Move. Even weirder? The cost. While your nice, free edged, heavy fleece can be as cheap as $30 on Amazon, this snooze tube’s gonna cost you about $90. Yep. Ten bucks short of C note to sit in a sack to slumber. Short of the stupid name, the marketing guys on this must have been next level geniuses. How’s it any better than literally any lengthy blanket? Who’s too lazy to wrap the edges around their bodies? Or their toes? And what if I need to pee in the witching hours? Allegedly, you can slide this thing up your legs to do a quick Marilyn-Monroe-in-a-pencil-dress shimmy to the loo. But, it just doesn’t make sense how or why I would need this to fall asleep.
But then I remembered something.
The Snuggie.
Remember the Snuggie? What Snuggie owners here spent more time wearing their backwards robes to lounge and relax than to catch some Z’s? All of you. (Don’t lie.) And, much like your fleecy gowns, these soft body gloves aren’t about bed. They’re about what happens before sleep. The process that prepares us to sleep. Our downtime. The body pod is essentially a human cocoon. A place to feel sheltered. Safe. Shut out the world. It’s a way to free yourself from the woes of the world and the pain of the day you just had, listening to sixteen different patients’ problems and trying to fix them (or, ya know, whatever it is you do…) We don’t, most of us, just go from high octane work mode where we’re putting out adulting fires all day to just… passing out. (Unless we have the aid of pharmaceuticals.) Many of us need a decompressing segue to get there. So, I could completely see how this thing could offer a bridge from your stressful day into dreamland.
Plus, if you low key loathe your significant other and are looking for a new and exciting means to nip any nocturnal attempts for amorous activity in the bud, this giant chastity belt’s gotcha covered. Sure, the bottom might have a freedom hole, but that takes a lot more effort to trespass through than that fuzzy cape you bought back in 2009 did. So, with that concession made, I will give my final verdict: if you’re struggling to turn the brain dial down on a daily basis, maybe try this overpriced light weight sleeping bag.
Or, ya know… just buy a light weight sleeping bag.
