It seems obvious.
You’d know if you were running low on shut-eye, right?
You’d either be narcoleptic level tired (like the time your car’s hood accordioned into that one fire hydrant that totally jaywalked into the street)… or you wouldn’t. No in between, right? Eh… not necessarily. Thing about sleep deprivation is that it can kinda build up. A few too many nights of less-than-seven-hours-ness, and you might find yourself functional – but not optimally so. Sound familiar? Are you suddenly slightly less Superman than you’re used to being? Then see if some of these symptoms also sound familiar. If so, then your kryptonite might just be a sum of slumber hours ain’t enough. Over the next several articles, we’ll cover some common symptoms telling you that you need to power off earlier and not reboot till the rooster you don’t have ‘cause you live in suburbia crows. Thus, let’s start with memory and mind and how vulnerable they both are after too few hours on the pillow. Beginning with a brief, personal anecdote:
So… I shut the door on my luke warm tea and immediately search for the “reheat” button.
The only problem is that I can’t find it.
Because wooden cupboards don’t warm your food for you.
These facepalmy little lapses in memory are sometimes terribly frightening. Especially if they happen more than once within a day week month. Sometimes it helps to consult with companions – and learn they’ve had some similar thought-diarrhea moments themselves. But what could be causing it? Hypochondriac that I am, of course my first assumption it always that I have some neurological disorder you only ever hear about on that one “Strange Diagnoses” T.V. show. And that I am obviously going to die within the week. As I set out to start my living will, I wondered – might there be another reason? After some research, I learned, that yes, the truth’s usually a bit kinder. And that’s that I’m likely just lacking on enough sleep. But I don’t wanna admit that’s the problem. Because: cognitive dissonance.
“It’s simple; we kill the bad habit.”
But what’s sleep got to do with remembering stuff, you ask?
An excellent question, my friend. Lemme ‘splain.
You see, in order to recall anything – from what you ate for breakfast to the number pi to the quadrillizonth decimal place – you need some essential connections betwixt your nerve cells. For emotional memories specifically, we rely on that part of sleep called REM to aid in both the creating and keeping of said memories. This, I suppose, is why everyone told me to just go to sleep instead of crashing for my most recent exam. You’ll often hear the cliché: “If you don’t know it now, you never will.” Firstly, that’s not true (seeing as I’ve squeezed in some helpful factoids in those precious last five pre-physics test minutes more often than not). And even if it were, it wouldn’t be applicable here. A better cautionary catchphrase would be “you won’t remember anything – whether you learned it five days or seconds ago – sans a soundly synapsing noggin.”
And, as we’ve just learned, bedtime’s where recall gets procured.
Think of it as a time when the seams of your recollection get their stitches reinforced. (After all the wear and tear you do on it while awake). A good rapid eye movement sesh’s even got a cadence similar to a darting Singer needle – as if it’s reinforcing the edges so your memory catalog and cognition don’t go leaking on out by tomorrow when you’re trying to unlock your front door with the button of your car remote. (#truestory)
(Or doing this.)
Similarly, if you’re getting whiplash over every metaphorical squirrel popping up in your peripheral vision, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve got ADHD. Like memory – focus, attention, and general straight-thinkery go out the window when your rest reserves are running low. Just ask my coworker who calls me “5:30 Scarecrow” (that’s the time my rebellious brain starts giving up after waking up at 4 A.M., running, writing, and then trying to work on my feet till 7:30 at night.) My body, will, and heart are still in the game come evening – but my brain just kinda clocks out and fkks off soon after five. The fix? Getting to sleep by nine sharp, obv. Ironically, by then, my brain’s on board for sleep. But my body, will, and heart all want their entertainment reward for behaving so well all day. Once I get these errant bastards all in alignment, I’ll be unstoppably focused with a Sheldon Cooper level memory.
Till then, before you or I start calling up our neurologists or prematurely putting ourselves in the local retirement home on account of early onset Alzheimer’s, we should probably ask ourselves this: have I been getting in the suggested seven each night? Or have I been faithfully playing that one trivia game while basking supine in the blue light of my phone until it anvils me in the face?
Which is it?
Can’t remember?
I think that’s your answer, my dear.
Next sleeplessness symptom: Bad skin