In the world of sleep inducing self calming mechanisms, there’s a lotta wise advice.
The thing is most of it centers on stuff like yoga or meditation – which is absolutely fantastic. However, the former may take up a bit more time than you’d like to, while the latter may seem a daunting task. (Since most have the misconception that it’s about sitting in miserable silence while actively avoiding thoughts.) Either way, late at night when you can’t remember which asana causes sleep or what a good mantra to chant might be, you’re craving a simple fix. And quick.
“Is it Om namo? Or gnome no mo’? Or… mon amor?”
Lucky for you ‘n me both, science has come up with an easy system to assuage your nervous system.
One with an easy name too:
“4 – 7 – 8”
As far as breathing exercises go, this 4-7-8 thing couldn’t spell it out for you any simpler: First, you suck in oxygen through your nostrils – for four seconds. (Note that’s meant to be performed in regular “One Mississippi” seconds, not “Time is Money” seconds.) Then, after you’re good ‘n full of revitalizing life gas, you hold it in the breathing balloons residing under your ribs. How long? You guessed it. Seven seconds. Then, after that prolonged pause, you’re gonna dismiss the respiratory mist from your body in one, eight second long exhalation. However, whereas the inhalation bit was processed by your proboscis, your pie hole’s doing the push out this time. And that’s it. Within under a couple minutes, you’re out like an Asian try’na outdrink an Irishman. (Which I can totally say. ’cause I’m part Asian.) In fact, the dudes who came up with this method’ll tell you it may not even take so long. Within roughly four cycles, your bod’s already calming down.
(Morphing yourself into Nintendo Luigi’s hippie cousin with a mullet totally optional.)
And that’s actually the whole point of this exercise. Dr Andrew Weil (an American sleep expert) states that the technique works because it gives us both a muscular and cognitive cuddle, acting like a natural Skalaxin and serenity inducer. This’s why Weil suggests employing it at least a couple times a day. (The less stress you’re bringing with you into nighttime, the easier you’ll sleep. Also: who wants to stay in a state of cray all day anyway? When there’s a simple fix like this?) Per the doc himself:
“You breathe in through your nose quietly and blow air out forcefully through your mouth making a whoosh sound. It takes all of about 30 seconds so there is no excuse for not doing it. It produces a very pleasant altered state of consciousness. You may not get that the first time you do it but it’s one of the benefits of practicing.”
I’ll be honest – when I first heard about this, I thought, “this’s really just a rip off on deep, yogic breathing. Y’ain’t saying anything special.” But then, something happened. First, my computer shut down (because of those dumb and inconvenient updates it intermittently subjects me to.) Second, a coven of vexing women having the “breastfeeding in public” convo began a “who can be obnoxious the loudest” competish. (They all won, IMHO.) Then, my laptop proceeded to reboot – commencing the process of taking twelve eons to finish its inconvenient updatery, and making me hafta resort to generating my literary magic on my iphone. This was ridiculous. As I pulled up my “notes” app, I realized I couldn’t hear my own thoughts over the angst induced grinding of my enamel. I was too pizzed to write anything of worth.
I needed to change my brain channel.
“Perfect opportunity”, I thought, “to do some investigative research.”
“These circles represent the number of effs I give about anything right now.”
It took me a few goes.
But, instead of marinating in madness, I stayed the course – and initiated the 4-7-8 (minus the whole wooshing noise – though it would’ve been funny to witness the feminazis beside me’s reactions) The result? Worlds more effective than I’d mentally estimated it’d be. More effective, for that matter, than the breathing exercises I’ve been doing up til now. But why? Seeing as I had another five minutes before I could log back online, I used my newly oxygenated think meat to cogitate about this question. And I came up with this: I, much like most’ve the people I know, have fallen into the bad habit of insisting “I am breathing deeply!” (or slowly, or long) when I’m actually not. The thing is – when you just tell someone to calm themselves or breathe deeply while they do yoga or meditate or lay in a bed counting imaginary, hairy, woolen animals – the directions lack specificity. There’s too much room for you to mistakenly breathe “your way”. (And let’s face it – if your way worked, you wouldn’t be resorting to someone else’s advice in the first place. You’d be asleep right now.) I think “breathe deeply” is a direction that fails so badly because it automatically makes the student self-conscious. “OMG, I’m not breathing right. The simplest thing we do to stay alive. Which means I’m stupid. Let me go ahead and respond by panicking, judging myself, getting more anxious, and shallowly breathing all the while. That should fix it.”
Counter-intuitive though it may sound, I’ve seen this with a ton of patients I’ve worked with – and do it myself as well. (And often.) That’s when it hit me like a Greyhound on a jaywalker. The 4-7-8 method works because its very moniker’s a reminder to aid in avoiding your usual brand of doing-it-wrongery. By titling it with the second counts, you’re not thinking about whether you’re doing it right. You’re simply following by-the-number instructions that’ll lead you to a peaceful sleep.
So, remember – try the 4-7-8 for 78 seconds (or less)…
And you’ll be dozing in no time.