Why You Should Lie About How Long You Lie Down

You’ve probably heard of sleep hypnosis before.

You listen to some sort of recording that tells you you’re sleepy and relaxed. It keeps doing this repeatedly, as you lay, eyes closed. And, before you know it, you’re out like a light on an overridden circuit. But let’s say that doesn’t work. Let’s say you get a less than stellar rest. Can you do the same – the other way around? Can you still hypnotize yourself to think you got a good snooze? We know that affirmations work. But can straight up fairy tales do the same? Are affirmation fabrications a thing?

According to research efforts, it’s totally true; telling lies about how long you lie down for can actually make your brain believe you’re more rested, stimulating your reticular activating system, and enhancing performance. The caveat? That the study was single blind – meaning the participants were deprived of time devices and genuinely believed they got a certain amount of sleep. So, there wasn’t any subconscious part of them to secretly doubt that false affirmation. However, it’s an interesting study inasmuch as how our beliefs and emotional state dictate a lot for us. The study alone should show us that it’s not the lack of sleep messing us up the next day. It’s our anxiety about how too much of a sleep debt will make us fail at work, lose our job, travel home with our office belongings in a box, and drive off a cliff – all because we had one night of insufficient sleep. We work ourselves up. Our brains tell us that lie that it’s gonna be worse than it has to be. So why not put that brain power to better use? And tell a better lie? I mean, even without the scientific studies, I’ve witnessed false affirmations work in reality.

My buddy, Rich, on the contrary wakes up each morning like he just had an epi pen shoved into his cardiac cavity.


(Couldn’t find an appropriate pic of said friend. You get this re-enactment instead.)

This is something he just does on a regular basis.

And, much like his many other lovable idiosyncrasies that’ve become trademark habits of his, it’s just become part of him. It’s built in. Even after nights when he’s only caught Oliver Twist level servings of sleep, he’ll still wake up like he’s just been issued illicit intravenous amphetamines. It’s all about “good morning!” or “time to awesome the eff out of today!” Now, whether or not he’s trying to convince himself of something untrue, I dunno. All I know is that he what he says first thing and how he lives the rest’ve his day match up beautifully. And what’s he get out of it? Well, for one, it works. You won’t catch that dude sneaking in afternoon naps later. What’s more, though, he’s literally one’ve the most successful mofos I know. He’s an entrepreneur, improv comic, and probably has an underground operation in the works to usurp Apple imminently. The fact that science backs this is just further confirmation for me to fib about how many Z’s I catch.

The takeaway here?

Don’t freak out about sleepless eves. The stress from that alone will tire you even more.

Just start telling whoppers about nod off time… and you’ll be fine.

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