Interview with a vampire (chatting with a nightshifter)

I can’t imagine living without daylight.

The moment dusk touches down, I’m terrified. Clinging to those last shreds of sunshine, I traipse along some trail for an evening jog. Good to the last photon infused drop. And then, when I’m suddenly cloaked in a cold quilt of naught but lunar light, that abyss within me begins to strengthen. Swell. Consume me. I hate the night. But, as I’ve become busier (and thus tried to befriend it so that I can work past 6 P.M. before my brain freezes up like a porn riddled computer), I’ve begun to wonder: how the eff do other people manage? I mean, I’ve learned recently that about 40% of people attempting night shifts can successfully make the circadian flip-flop happen successfully. The others? They end up pudgy, depressed, cancerous, and enduring a surplus of other fun sicknesses. That means less than half the population of those making moola by moonlight actually acclimate to it. The others simply suffer (and generally get dead prematurely.) But how? How do some people (happily) do things like save lives within the coffin-like confines of a fluorescent infirmary tomb? How can they sacrifice the solar glow of the well lit hours?

I’ve had many a moronic question about night owls.

And, recently, I asked all of them to a friend of mine… who is one.


(No. This *wasn’t* one of them.)

You see, my buddy, Eric, is among these night crawlers of which I speak. But, while he might be a bit of a vampire, homie’s nocturnal adventures comprise saving lives – not taking them. Because, as a veteran and respiratory therapist, Eric spends roughly twelve hour shifts at a time, breathing life back into the poor bastards who’ve come in there with oxygen puffing problems. And those shifts typically run from late o’ clock to early in the A.M. The funny thing? I’ve witnessed him doing both “regular people” workdays as well as this seemingly crazy one. And somehow… this seems to work better for him. Unlike the unfortunate 60% of sickly workers grinding at night, he’s fit, satisfied, and comparatively more content. So, is Eric among the aforementioned minority of mutants who’ve managed to make the melatonin switch? It seemed worth investigating. Thus, I asked my airway angel pal how and why he thrives at night. Not just for work – but all that other crap that comes with the business of living (like healthy relationships, a sane brain, and overall physical fitness).

And this’s what I got:

1. What is your current sleep schedule and why are you keeping it?

Currently I sleep from 8-8:30 am to around 4-4:30 pm because I work from 7 pm to 7 am. I’d love to sleep till 5 or 6 but j have to make my lunch, have my coffee, get dressed, and commute.

2. Did it take you a while to acclimate to these vampire hours?

No. I’ve always been naturally more nocturnal. It’s just nice to have a job that accommodates that.

3. Do you have trouble falling asleep at 6 or 7 (or whenever) in the morning? Or staying asleep for the day?

No more than most people would when they go to bed at what is assume are normal hours. My night time just happens to be others people’s mornings.

4. When you wake up by mid afternoon, do you feel groggy or well rested?

That all depends on how tired I was going to bed. Some days I feel right as rain, others I feel like the walking dead.

5. Have you found yourself getting sicker more frequently?

No

6. Do you feel any increased effects of depression on this sleep schedule? Lashing out? Mood swings?

My mood has actually been steady since I’ve gone back to the dark side. For me, trying to sleep in the dark is the worst. It scares me and I can never truly rest it seems. Daytime sleeping has been more more conducive to good sleeps.

7. Even after getting sufficient rest, do you ever head to work still feeling tired?

Don’t we all?

8. Does your work performance ever get effected by fatigue?

No. I may feel like shit, but you’d never know it when I’m at work. I love my job and I have a strong pride in being the absolute best in my field regardless of how I may be feeling.

9. Have you ever microslept while driving? (Nodded off at the wheel)

Not since college. *cough*drunk*cough*

10. What is your sleep schedule on a day or night off?

I try to keep my schedule pretty intact regardless. Obviously when my daughter is with me I do wake up earlier or just take a nap in the afternoon at some point in the day. Just to keep my batteries fresh. She’s old enough to entertain herself for an hour or so, but if the situation arises I can pull an all nighter no problem.

11. Do you wear sunglasses on the way home from a night shift?

I wear my sunglasses everyday if there’s light out. My migraines have forced me to do so for years now. Night shift work was never the cause of that.

12. Do you black out your room during daytime sleeping?

I’m afraid of the dark, so I’m going to go with no.

13. Do you take stimulants (coffee, energy drinks) to stay awake at work?

Don’t we all???

14. Do you take sleeping pills to fall asleep come morning?

I do have prescriptions for sleeping aids, but I rarely use them. The prescriptions were used much more when I worked days.

15. Does your diet or exercise suffer as a result of your inverted circadian rhythm?

No I actually feel better and my body responds to my workouts better now that I’m back to what feels natural for me.

16. Are there any upsides to the schedule you’re keeping?

No more than any other schedule people keep. I guess my friends always know they have a designated driver should they need one of I’m not working.

17. What’s the biggest downside to it?

The only one I’ve found is that often times in the only one awake in my world. Can get lonely, but thankfully I have friends all over the world so I can chat with people no matter what time it is.

18. Do you find it difficult to fit in non-career related business? (Appointments, grocery shopping, etc.) If so, how do you work around it?

No I just schedule all my stuff for right after work just like most people do. Only difference is I’m wide awake at 8 am where most people haven’t had their morning coffee yet.

19. Who is the coolest email interviewer you’ve ever had?

I could tell you, but you’d never believe me.

19. Did you notice I listed 19 twice?

Yes I did. Nice touch.

20. (Just seeing if you’re still awake.)

I might be.

21. Anything you want to add about being a nightcrawler?

Traffic is always better for me than it will ever be for you daywalkers!!! So NA NA NA NA NA NAAAAAAAA

So, there I have it. Eric’s apparently just a genetic unicorn who’s more productive in the late post meridian and witching hours. I’d say this doesn’t help me figure out how to tweak my own circadian clock, but actually that’s not true. Because there’s a paradox to be observed here. While, as he mentioned, he gets distressed in the dark (you try going to war and not returning with a few new fears), he’s also more alert at sunset (obviously – seeing as that was the whole point of this article). So, to me, it seems like his apprehensions that arise when light is lacking have led him face that fear head on. That takes some intrinsic fortitude. Because, when the sun sets (while people like me are mourning the death of day till morning returns again), he’s out turning his phobia into a money making entity. Keeping busy to keep the demons leashed. (Whereas some people I know would use it as an excuse to pop mind massaging pills prior to passing out into a pillow.) Thus, this interview with my vampire pal did indeed shed light on darkness dwelling habits for me. You can’t necessarily chock up a successful, nocturnal, hormonal reversal to genetics or environment.

At the end of the day… some people just come to life at the end of the day.

Others force it ’cause that’s what it takes to survive.

And others yet – like my buddy, Eric?

They do both.

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