Wait… you want me to sleep with a heavy blanket?
In this weather?
I know. It’s a bit hot for it ATM. But, during your desperate search for the perfect (and side effect free) sleep, you may have encountered ads for the “Gravity” blanket. There are actually a ton’ve ’em out there, under all sorts of different brand names. It’s just that Gravity happens to be having its moment RN. And what’s the big deal? Well, the idea’s that, by hiding under a blanket that’s roughly 10 percent’ve the weight of the sleepless meat it’s sitting on top of, some next level sorcery happens: the sensation allegedly mimics being cuddled or hugged. This sets off a neurotransmitter cascade of serotonin and other relaxation hormones. And, before you know it, your insomniac stress’s supplanted with snoring. Not a bad sounding deal for a chemical free sleep.
So, what’re the downsides?
And upsides?
Well, for one, the blanket lives up to its name in more ways than the obvious. Gravity causes stuff to fall. And that’s exactly what this thing’ll do to your bank balance with its $250 price tag. On the other hand, though, if that’s what you’re forking out on a semiregular basis anyway for those pharmaceuticals you hafta pay outta pocket for now after your insurance dropped you in January, then it might not be the worst investment. Especially since, unlike Lunesta, it’s not a recurring purchase.
Second, these things are only big enough to fit one. (Sorry, Jack, not enough room to surf the delta waves under this Gravity raft. You’re gonna hafta let go and get your own.) That said, if you’ve read my recent article on sleeping with an S.O., it’s not a bad idea for you twoz to be rockin your own his and hers (or hers and hers… or his and his… or me and my Pekingese) covers anyway – weighted or not. Ya know, so you don’t hafta battle for the blanket all night. That’s just a relache saver, right there…
(Can we take a moment to appreciate cold cat’s face? #BeenThereBro)
Third is one review I actually read from a verified purchase on Amazon: that it’s lumpy in some places; that it’s not evenly distributed. Sorry, Gravity, not all “cons” on the pro and con list can be redeemed. Maybe homeboy just bought a dud. Or maybe ya just hafta take your blankie back to the lab and work out the literal kinks in this thing.
And, finally is the heat issue. For those of us who suffer through seasons featuring lava level temps and air so humid that we hafta backstroke from our front doors to our cars, the Gravity blanket might be less than stellar. For three to five months out of the year (90 degree temps started in VA when May did, this year) it’s too hot for this heavy sedative swaddle cloth. The upside? It might just be worth buying anyway for our Alaskan-esque winters that inevitably follow. So, if you think what your sleep’s missing is a quilt that costs a mint, try this guy out. Mayhaps what a heavy sleep requires is a heavy blanket.
As for me? I think I’ll just try a DIY and double up on covers.
That is, when and if this sweltering weather ever ends…