It doesn’t make any sense.
Here, I’m half asleep on the sofa after a soporific supper and cup of chamomile.
Yet, not five minutes into scouring down my mug and molars in the bathroom, I’m ready to go for a night run.
What gives? I was literally as alert as a roofie’d coed moments ago. Now I couldn’t sleep if I tried.
What happened in that handful of minutes?
Is it all in my head?
Well, kind of, says science. But not in the “mind over matter” way you might be thinking. See, when you’re sitting in your dimly lit living room in the post meridian, something happens. Your pineal gland (which sits in your brain) bakes up batches of the torpor hormone (melatonin). But its levels only really rise as light falls. The workaround? Amber lighting in your house. (I’ve written an article on this before). That, in essence, means that any hues of blue light (like T.V. or iphones) can mess your melatonin levels, rocketing your consciousness back into full throttle. Knowing this, I thought I was in the clear. I mean, all evening long, I’m sitting under the glow of an orange-y overhead lamp, with my laptop set to f.lux (an amber filter) settings. I’ve adjusted all the lights in my decompression chamber to be melatonin friendly.
So, what’s mistake?
It’s what I do when I’m finally ready to bid my couch adieu and head to bed. See, first, I mosey on into the kitchen to clear away my dishes. Boom. Light goes on, sniping my melatonin levels for every second they burn above me. Next, I head into the loo – to loofa my face free of makeup and free debris my dentin. Automatically, I turn on the coruscating, fluorescent light. Boom. Another photon shot, straight into my slumber hormone’s heart. Sure, washing your flatware, face, and fangs seems benign enough. (Admirable even, considering I used to leave my dishes laying around in a sink all night and fell asleep with Sephora war paint caked on my face.) Great as those habits are, though, they’re detrimental when done under a shower of melatonin murdering illumination. Because, all the while, your circadian rhythm spirals into schizophrenia, sending your snooze juice back into hiding. Here, I knew blue light was my P.M. enemy… but I didn’t realize that just a few minutes spent suffering my disgusting kitchen or lavatory lighting could mess up the lovely dose of doze hormone I’d accrued all evening.
So, what’s the answer?
Well, you could alter the light levels in all the rooms of your home.
(Admit it: this lighting’s basically a Barry White lullaby for your pineal gland.)
Sure, it’s an extra expense, but it just might be worth the investment. If it’s not, though (or if you just want to try something new ASAP), fear not. There’s another option: a nocturnal boycott of bulbs. And, no, I don’t mean cleaning in pitch blackness, necessarily. (Otherwise, you’ll be applying Tom’s toothpaste to your Chi and scorching your tongue.) Rather, I mean keeping the door (to your more dimly lit room bathed in an amber glow) open just enough for you to carry out your nightly ablutions without making your brain think it’s wake o’ clock again. Need a testimonial from a fellow restless snoozer? I finally tried this just last night, and am happy to announce I actually had a better rest than I’ve had in ages.
So, if you’re finding your lamps amping your mind up and hampering sleep, try these tips, if you like.
Because having tidy china or pearly whites shouldn’t equal surly nights.