Sometimes you can’t sleep because of stress.
Sometimes it’s ’cause you caffeinated too late in the day.
But other times? Other times it’s just ’cause you’re trying to slumber in public.
(And there’s zero comfy way to do that. Even if you’re a social media king kazillionaire.)
I’ve faced this mattressless predicament many a time. There was a time in my early 20’s when I’d work 12 hour shifts at the vet. Or the first half of college – when I’d travel via plane between New Orleans and home. (Gotta love the bobble head effect of trying to nap in public transit, sans turning your neighbor’s shoulder into a saliva slathered, bony headrest.) Or even road trips, where I’d crumple up in the shotgun seat on my way to wherever. (And arrive looking like a scene out’ve an exorcism flick.) Yes, for every case, there was no arguing it: an ideal position didn’t exist for public snoozing. Inevitably, the old neck crick awaited me at the termination of my journey. Especially during travel. That is – unless I brought along cumbersome, cluttery cushions I absolutely didn’t wanna tote along with my handbag, laptop, and luggage (crammed with a gazillion kicks, stilletos, and wardrobe options.) Wasn’t there a more efficient way to rest en route to Whereverville? Well, maybe not back then… but now?
Absolutely.
Because, thanks to something called the Hypnos Hoodie, our waking woes can be assuaged.
Sure, it looks like your typical pullover. You can rock it like you would any other.
And why wouldn’t you when it looks this cool?
(Or maybe it’s the models’ matching IDGAF attitudes cloaked in that Sofia Coppola filter that makes it seem so cool?
I dunno. Either way: want one.)
But, then, the second the sandman saunters into your plane, train, automobile, or classroom, sprinkling that soporific dust of his, this badboy’s ready for action. All you hafta do is blow into the tubing in the back (not unlike I do with my inflatable ducky printed pool arm floaties). And, then, the hood magically morphs into a cushy, cranial cradle. (Not to mention, you’re in the clear if your Boeing happens to hafta make an aqueous landing mid nap and you’re rocking your own life raft.) You can go basic – and lay straight back into it, with the hood blocking out peripheral light. Or you can even flop it around and side sleep ’til you either get to your destination, your own snores rouse you, or your boss is done talking. (Yes, these’re great for bored board meetings.)
Finally, our days of ferrying ratty, horseshoe shaped pillows around like a bunch of disgusting packrat peons, is over. Now we can dress like Zuckerberg-the-early-years. And we can do it while publicly (and comfortably) performing the exact opposite of what he probably ever does much of at all (save for the instance in that viral image):
Sleep.