So, you’re laying there and you can’t sleep.
Why?
It could be a zillion reasons. Sometimes it’s got physiological roots. You’ve just had an intense late night work out. Or a fight. Or you drank caffeine too late. But more often than not, it’s none of that. It’s just that the thought cars on your mind track are doing laps of the Indy 500 variety. And, because there’s so many of them and they’re going so fast, you can’t just throw out a neural fishing line to lure them in and clear your brain lake so it can rest. So, you lay there for an hour, marinating in this tornado of cognitive garbage, accomplishing nothing. You don’t fix any of the issues afflicting your mental state. You don’t figure out any of the thought problems bouncing around in your noggin. They just kinda whirl around, tag teaming your sanity until you burn out enough to pass out.
(I’m still not sure if this is the universal stress gesture or if people are trying to actually squash their own heads.)
But is there a better way?
Absolutely. The trick, when this happens, isn’t to try and fight it. Now, while I’d highly recommend meditation for the self calming aspect, sometimes addressing the underlying issue is necessary as well. And that’s exactly what I’d suggest here. When this happens, what I tend to do is pull down the chain on my Tiffany light, sit up in bed, and make a list of everything rendering me sleepless. Some of it’s tomorrow’s to-do’s I’m afraid I’ll forget about come morning. Some of it’s guilt about the chores I put off. Some of it’s resentment toward that coworker or a significant other or a family member regarding something left unsaid. I’ll get up and I’ll write down everything bothering me. So, that’s step one. Writing down what you’re worried about.
Step two (and this may seem obvious, but not everyone does it), is writing down what you’re gonna do about it. Upset with yourself that you left the dishes piled so high this week that it’s touching the floor of the apartment above you? Write down what you’ll do. I’ll clean the kitchen. I’ll do the morning workout. I’ll tell my girlfriend that it’s cruel and unusual to Dutch oven me in the middle of the night when we’re sleeping. Whatever it is – affirm that you’re definitely doing it as soon as you wake up. But that sounds an awful lot like procrastination, doesn’t it? And that’s where the next step comes in.
So, right next to that list is where step three holds you accountable. You’ve said what’s bothering you. You’ve said what you’ll do about it. Now comes the part where you set a time. When are you going to do this? Whenever a boss or friend or partner wants to set a meeting or an outing or a date night, what do you do to make sure it happens? You set a time. You make a plan. A goal without a plan is just a wish, most say. And the same goes for both your big dream to build a career as it does for you to scrub the tub that’s looking awful grubby after a couple months of cruelty free African black soap. You have to know when. By jotting down when you’ll do it tomorrow, you hold yourself accountable to actually doing it. There’s no second guessing or doubt about it. It’s stamped into your mental agenda (and physical one too) for tomorrow.
(Wearing these stripes because I’m a prisoner sitting in a cell built of obligatory chores! Wearing a smile cuz I built it!)
And, if it’s there on paper, all organized, then guess where it’s not? It’s not in your skull, assaulting you and thieving sleep from your evenings. You’ve transferred it. You’ve extracted and simplified this complex monster. So, if your rest time has become one of internal disorder keeping you from sleep, try this tip. But don’t wait until you hit the hay to reawaken and make your to-do list. There’s a far simpler route. Go ahead and seek these issues out before bedtime. Ask yourself what’s looming, write them out, and snooze peacefully, knowing your woes are in writing and waiting to be solved tomorrow at whatever o’ clock on the dot.