Ah, vitamins.
Those organic mini orbs you swallow in rocket shapes or enjoy as dissolvible fizzy tablets.
They’re not drugs. So it shouldn’t matter when you take them…. right?
Wrong.
(“Wait – if I take the blue pill, I’ll just wake up, won’t I?”)
Possibly, young woman who looks far too amused for that tiny silo to just be a mere OTC vitamin. Because, according to this little bit of mindblow I’m just now learning, apparently some supplemental life assistants might just be the lurking culprit behind your insubstantial slumber. Depending on when you take it, one in particular might be a robber you’re inadvertently letting in to thieve your Z’s from you. A Trojan horse sent to keep you sheep counting. And, which exactly – you might be asking – is it?
Well, that super important one that’s tough to prize outta your diet alone:
B12.
See, B12 is indeed a thing you need. Without it, you get a whole host of grossness. A list that includes (but’s not limited to): a backed up booty chute, tingly fingers (and other limbs), suddenly not knowing how to body, a Casperly pallor, and your eyeballs throwing up their TPS reports and quitting on the spot sans a two weeks notice. So, before we deem cobalamin (that’s B12’s gov’ment name) inimical altogether, let’s not be rash. (Which’s ironically a symptom of overdosing on the stuff, but: moving on…) Rather, it’s best to think of this vital dietary yes-and as your super sweet werewolf boyfriend.
Fantastic during the day, but best to lock in the cupboard when evening nears.
Why?
Well, the thought is that B12 keeps you awake because part of its function’s to help turn your already eaten pizza into pizzazz. It converts food to energy. That’s why they suggest washing ’em down earlier in the day – with your strudels and Starbucks, versus later. The last thing you wanna be doing pre-snoozery is going all super saiyan, stayin’ up all night, and only reaching your final form by morning – when you’re tapped, just in time for the alarm clock to go off.
Which is also likely to happen as a result of B-12’s effect on melatonin levels.
See, melatonin helps regulate your whole “rise ‘n shine” versus “GTF-to-sleep” times. Mess with melatonin, and you can anticipate a nice long night of trying to calculate exactly how many of those texturized stalactites exist on the ceiling directly above you. (Hint from a veteran insomniac: the answer’s nine-thousand seven-hundred-and-eighty-I-forgot because I fell asleep fifteen minutes before my cell phone summoned me back from slumber.)
Per Livestrong:
Due to its effect on melatonin and on sleep-wake cycles, vitamin B-12 has been implicated in sleep disorders. A study published in “Neuropsychopharmacology” in November 1996 found that methylcobalamin vitamin B-12 supplements could increase alertness at night, aiding in sleep reduction and the capacity for activity at night. Taking supplements containing methylcobalamin at night might alter your sleep cycle. If you take the supplements over a long period, you might develop sleep deprivation.
And even if you do get to sleep, it may not be quite as quality as you’d like. Why? Because of the vivid nightmares that await you. See, nothing in that meat puppet you live in happens in a vacuum. You’re this great big, moving stew of neurotransmitter fireworks going off constantly and occasionally causing all kindsa havoc depending on which infidels you invite into your somatic wonder cave. Thus, when you take your daily B-12 later, not only the ‘tonin – but a ton’ve other neurotransmitter functions – get disrupted, too. And that can lead to uneasy dreaming. The kind that jar you back awake at 3 A.M. so a steady sense of dread can flood you for the next four hours til you hafta head to work.
To reiterate for the half-article readers – you should definitely take your B-12. Regularly. (Ya know, so you don’t turn into a blind, blanched, brainless, and barely sentient moving noodle.) That said, B-12 may not be a drug, but – like any other edible that temporarily takes up residence in your body – it has an effect on your system. Thus, you’ll wanna make sure that when you do take your dose, that that happens pre-evening, so as not to disturb your dozery later. Or infuse it with some terrifying eyelid-movie narrative starring characters that’re all played by Freddy Krueger.
And the takeaway here?
Eat your B when you rise.
’cause vitamins should revitalize – not sleep deprive – you.
