Can these daily tips mitigate your nightly rest? (Part 1)

So, you’re laying there wide eyed and unable to shutter your lids for sleep’s sweet release.

“Why me? Is it punishment for having perfect hair? I feel like it’s punishment for having perfect hair…”

And it doesn’t make sense, seeing as you’ve tried every OTC (and maybe a dose or two of non-OTC) remedies to knock you TFO. What’s missing here? What’ve you done wrong? According to the bedtime gurus, it might just boil down to the same reason we fail exams, blow big interviews, and get knocked out in the ring 20 seconds in:

Lack of preparation.

“Prepare how?” you might ask. I mean, isn’t sleep a natural body function your flesh husk should just power off and do without you having to design your waking days around it? While the answer, in a perfect Platonic world filled with lavender infused posturpedic pillows, would be yes – we unfortunately don’t live there. Where we live, in lieu, is in a land filled with foes of dozing. Our A.M.’s to afternoon are spent chemically catching our tails (by chucking espresso at ‘em) and injecting toxic thoughts into our noggins regarding the litany of to-do’s we choose to worry about.

The fix?

According to WebMD, there’re some great tips on how to better prep for rest time.

For instance…

1. Do your “don’t wanna” list early.

By the time I get home from work, the last thing I wanna do is vacuum, put away dishes, do laundry, or – yes- even write articles like these. This is why I fit exactly half an hour into my mornings before work to devote to all of that nonsense. In fact, I’ve tried to save that stuff for nighttime before and you know what happens? A whole lotta nothing. Not surprising, says Tracey Marks, author and doctor specializing in sleep, stating that our brains are “better primed for mental tasks in the morning when sunlight suppresses the production of melatonin, a sleep-inducing hormone.”

Which totally explains why I’m asking “what are clothes, even?” come evening, and making this face:

“What if clothes are actually alien life forms that take turns taking over our bodies…Like symbiote Spiderman?
Yeah. I’m not cleaning you bastards.”

2. Power down a half hour out

If you’ve spent any time on this site, you may’ve seen more than one article about “blue light before bedtime” – and what a no-no that is. Per the WebMD site, it’s suggested you set an “electronic” curfew, to include everything from your internet machine to that giant flat box mounted on your wall, displaying your endless DVR’d favorites you’ve been waiting all week to watch. They’ll still be there tomorrow night. So, jettison all’a that about a half hour before bed and keep ‘em covered. I would say that F.lux (an amber light filtered program that blocks blue light from electronics) is a good workaround. But after having used it for some time, I can say that while it’s definitely helpful for melatonin levels, the addictive tendency of technology alone can still keep your brain doing Nascar laps long after you hit the mattress.

3. Coffee clock out early

It might seem obvious that you shouldn’t have caffeine too close to closing up shop for the eve.

What might be less obvious, though, is just how far off you need to nix the refilling of your java jug. Per the pros, that figure is approximately 6 to 8 hours prior to bed. And which caffeinated culprits does this include? Coffee (obvi) – but also soda, energy drinks, and even tea. (And, yes, I assume your crack smoothie boosters euphemistically referred to as “pre-workout powders” count, for all my gym juggernauts out there.) But that’s not all. Actual amounts count too: no more than four 8 oz. cups o’ joe on the daily, they say. Unless you wanna end up fried like Fry.

“Post Starbucks binge thoughts: this is the second most expensive bad decision I’ve ever made involving stimulants.”

(Read on for why cardio and nightly rituals help you sleep while napping may actually hurt it…)